do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
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