So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
