I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
