Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
