what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
