Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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