Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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