"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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