isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
