All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I need to stop coming to work sober
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
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