I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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