somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Ketchup is God's man juice
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
