just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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