my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
