i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
