just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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