i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
