Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
