This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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