He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
