she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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