i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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