I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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