One girl and one boy is just not enough.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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