after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
