we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Randomize
