Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
