Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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