Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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