Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
