I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
