CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
