GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
