i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
