at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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