i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
