how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
