i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Randomize
