someone get that fucking seahorse.
well you can't waste a boner
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
