so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
