You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Randomize
