yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
