It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
