This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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