it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
