quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
so let's talk penis.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
