Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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