i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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