Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
