I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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