If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize