Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize