Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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