Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
