I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Randomize
