Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
