I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
