erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
The air was thick with penises
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
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