no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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