are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
